usoFyne is a group of cuddly, deliciously saucy, hijinx-minded individuals who put leisure and love before everything else in life. usoFyne was born as a spirit, as an outlook in life stemming from a deep, pure, and happy place inside of us. Alternately working hard at our respective professions and vacationing like champs, we long ago identified our primary goals: seeking leisure and taking our egos to a sparkly, lighthearted place. 

We've strived arduously and tenderly to perfect our love-giving styles on one another, but it wasn't until one sunny Spring afternoon in 2000 that we were struck with the sweet inspiration that produced usoFyne as we know it. Drinking Bloody Marys in B.J.'s slick backyard in the hills of Los Angeles, enjoying the sun and full with delight from prop-giving and love-receiving, we realized that it was time to spread the sunshine. To dedicate ourselves to bringing good cheer and showers of admiration to all the beautiful civilians who want it.

And so, usoFyne was born.  Today that original idea has blossomed into a pretty flower, and usoFyne.com is in full swing.  The usoFyne staff is checking daily for messages from the under-appreciated, and replying with sensitivity, audacity, and compliments, glorious compliments.  From high atop the usoFyne headquarters, in the comfortable yet functional usoFyne solarium, the staff administers their free special sauce to thousands of people around the globe.  And, together they relish in the opportunity they have to turn frowns into smiles, and to lighten the load of those that need it most.

Just like before, the bloody mary's still go down smoothly and quickly.  We still wear our flip-flops and t-shirts, and we still can't stop giving each other love.  There is so much flattery going on in the usolarium alone, and ass-smacking, and blowing kisses, and fun-lovin' ass-shakin', it's a wonder that a visitor to the site gets as much attention as they do.  But, that's our job here at usoFyne, one that we gladly accept with much excitement.  We are dedicated to doing all we can to reminding people how awesome they are, and spreading the love far and wide.

usoFyne staff:

D'Honey Slim
This sweet-loving, soft-cuddling joe from south of the border ain't afraid to lounge hard or sip his Bloody Mary from a straw. From the big hair to the sliding flip-flops, leisure is his way.  

“Sometimes, a slight gyration of my pelvis is all it takes to shoo any dirty troubles away.  I find that the more often I shake my stuff, the easier it is to smile.  If I plan to be gyrating a lot, I try to wear a jock strap.  Sometimes, nothing but a jock strap.  It embarrasses my friends.”

Jedediah "Doc" Spectrum
This fun-loving, soul-surfing mix-master was born among the Green Mountains and has developed the Way of the Sauntering Dragon with Grand Maestros of Leisure from all across Spaceship Earth.

"Why do I usoFyne?  Because crafting up some fyne prose of praise for another wondrous and worthy creature out there makes me feel slaphappy and skip-giddy.  My personal style, The Way of the Sauntering Dragon, is founded on the belief that each of us is, in a way, a hip mythic fire-breather with heaps of wild meta-treasure hidden deep in our secret mountain-top lair.  So close your eyes and smile wide with me, folks, because it's always a great day to be."

S.Balderdash
Envision a windswept mountaintop. Bloody Mary in hand, there stands S. Balderdash: party captain and king-daddy of all he surveys.

"You can't imagine how good it makes me feel to send some sunshine to a deserving person.  It makes me tingle in all over, even special places.  I am addicted to and dedicated to spreading the love.  Sometimes I get a little excited and spread my love on the wall and on the floor, but it's just 'cause I'm so darned happy to be part of the usoFyne team."

Sassy Phrass
This Bloody Mary maker extraordinaire uses a special combo of sass, celery salt, and strong attention to leisure to turn out her sunshine-filled prose.

"When I  usoFyne, I feel as though I am channeling the spirit of love, kindness and strong goddess-power through my keyboard and out my luscious rump. Even a fresh batch of Bloody Mary mix doesn't compare to the warm glow I have each and every day that I'm a part of this extraordinary group. usoFyne gives me the kick I need to climb Mount Everest in my flip flops ."

B.J. Hilife
Havin' nothing to do with fellatio (unless you're offerin'), this guy just wants to spread his word of love and beauty across all your lovely behinds.

Happy Pappy
Picture Santa with a jewel-encrusted wheelchair, golden dentures and purple satin Depends. His entourage of usoFyne monks bestow blessings when the patriarch himself is asleep.

Rip Girl
This San Francisco surfer hottie runs with a fast crowd and teases all the boys, broadcasting her inimitable sunshine with brown sugar sweetness and machine gun savvy.

Tbooms
This Queen of Sunshine (a.k.a. the Queen of Beers) is a sassy Southern lassie who spends her days ripping waves and chilling in the usoFyne solarium with her hot-assed co-founders.